11 Perspectives

I am so happy to be the wife of my Army Ranger!  It fills my heart with joy to know that we share a love that is truly blessed by God.  Like all relationships there are challenges mostly brought on by human weakness, and many unique challenges are brought on by the Army.  But, for every action there is a reaction, and similarly for every challenge there is a reward.  To find the reward I have had to choose the correct perspective.  As part of the Wives of Faith: Military Spouse Appreciation Blog Carnival 2011(http://www.wivesoffaith.org/military-spouse-appreciation-blog-carnival), I am listing 11 things that I love about being the wife of a soldier.

1. I love the romance!  Saying 'goodbye' to my man for a year or even a week grips my heart and wets my eyes.  I have spent the past couple years sending him away for two weeks of TDY each month, and just this week I left his side for his third deployment.  Ugh, its awful!  What is my reward?  Romance!  First, think about how much we appreciate the time we are together.  Sure, it is not always perfect, but we make the best of it we possibly can.  My two preschoolers and I spent the last month living in a hotel room with my husband in Alaska in order to be with him before his year long deployment.  The ladies at the front desk of the hotel always mentioned how impressed they were that we searched out a babysitter and went out on a date at least once a week.  To us it was a no-brainer.  We look for every opportunity to strengthen our relationship, and that often means getting away from the kids, and even pretending for a brief moment that we do not even have kids! 

2.  I love reunions!  Don't forget the ever romantic reunion when he comes home.  Watch out, R&R is how beautiful child number two came about.

3.  Do I love the moves?  Yes.  It is part of the military lifestyle to pick up and leave your hometown.  For some it is very hard, but for me I couldn't leave fast enough.  Of course, I did cry with a new appreciation for my family upon returning from my first trip away, but I still love to start a new adventure.  I guess I love the process of moving, as ridiculous as that may sound.  I love having to clean out my closets and get rid of stuff I do not use.  I love packing up stuff and living like a nomad for a month, just to make me appreciate what I have when I get it back.  I love opening boxes after a move, re-living the memories of places visited as I come across treasured mementos, and finding the perfect placement for the furniture that really only fit well in the house we had two moves ago.

4.  I love the friends!  Fire-forged friendships.  My soldier is not the only one in the family who gets a battle buddy... I do!  I have friends who I have not seen in years, some that I don't even know how to contact, but even these I would emotionally embrace.  The military lifestyle taught me not only how to recognize my true friends in my hometown, it also continues to teach me how to grow new friendships.  I have had such wonderful women and men in my life who have reached out to me, who have been honest with me, and who have set an amazing example for me to follow.  One couple in particular helped me make the first steps back to God after loosing my first military man, and they introduced me to the husband God has blessed me with today.  I hold these friends close to my heart, and I continue to open my mind to the world through the eyes of the diverse friends I have met over the years.

5. I love the uniform.  And I do not just mean how good my man looks in it!  I love what it stands for, or rather what he stands for when he wears it.  It represents service and sacrifice.  What an amazing example to set!  When my husband changes out of his uniform into his shirt and jeans he is fun, relaxed, and just as handsome as in his uniform. But he makes the choice to put the uniform on, and that is what makes the difference.

6.  I love the opportunity to be on my own when he is gone.  Sure, time together is golden, but a relationship forms between individuals, and there is no reason we should not continue to nurture our own individuality.  I have been at fault for  loosing myself.  Not only that, but the more I lost myself in our relationship, the more I expected my husband to do the same.  For me it had a lot to do with the birth of my kids and the all encompassing nature of learning how to be a mom, but it still was not right.  It is still a tight rope in many ways, balancing family and self, but I believe that taking the opportunities to be on my own when my husband is away has enriched our marriage.  It reminds me that he needs his own interests, and I am sure it makes me a much more interesting  person to be around.  So, my perspective for this deployment:  an opportunity to discover more about myself.

7.  I love that my kids are awesome travelers!  Since March my kids have moved from their home of three years in Kansas to Nevada, stayed with Grandma while waiting for me, and then adjusted to a move into my brother's house.  A week after getting "settled" we were off for a week in Disneyland with Daddy and the other set of grandparents, then back to Reno for a week of packing again, then a month in Alaska... in a hotel!  They loved it.  Within days of being in Alaska they were already calling our hotel room "home".  Sad?  Maybe.  But I consider it resilient!  My kids know that 'home' is wherever family is.

8.  I love the destinations!  Korea, Germany, Ireland, Prague, Amsterdam, and even Georgia, New York, Kansas and Alaska... they all have something new to offer.  Yes, some more than others, but each with at least one unique destination that I enjoyed.  I cannot imagine my life without seeing the world.

9.  I love the change!  I guess I was getting too comfortable in Kansas, or at least that is what the Army thought.  I do appreciate on some level the fact that the military shakes up my routine.  Kind of like packing and moving my house, I can re-evaluate what routines and habits I will keep or leave behind.  In a way it allows me to re-invent myself a little, and I see nothing wrong with that.  Who will I be this year?  Certainly not the exact same person I was in Kansas last year. We are all growing, or should be, and moving encourages the bravery in me to become someone a little better than I have been.

10.  I love the challenge!  Often it can all be so frustrating.  I try to remember that with each challenge I can walk away with a better understanding of what God expects of me.  The military is certainly not the only sub-culture that has its own unique set of challenges, but the unique challenges I have faced continue to prepare me for His work in service to others.  I pray that I will be able to show my love of God through my love for others.  I pray that I can help other military wives see their challenges as opportunities.

11.  I love my husband!  I would not search out this lifestyle, and the only reason I am here is because of my husband.  I choose to make the best of the military life, because the military lifestyle is what came with saying, "I do."